i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
