brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
