I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
