we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
As shirtless as possible
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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