what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
