Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
