Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
