Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
