if i can run in heels then i can drive
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
