I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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