dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
