i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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