Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
