can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
