I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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