i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize