Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
