That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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