Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
