It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I forgot wine drunk hurts
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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