Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
