im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
