I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize