Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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