hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
