I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize