I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
