You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
