I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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