Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
