Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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