During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
