sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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