protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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