But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
