the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The air taste purple.
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