y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
