I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
The ass gains better be worth it
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