I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize