At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
