don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
