got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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