I'm drive I can fine osifer
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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