I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
