he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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