she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
