9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
tell me about the eggs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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