I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
