I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
