I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
