just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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