I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
