First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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