I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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