We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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