Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
