yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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