Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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