Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
