I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize