some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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